


Better Than I Know Myself

by carrow



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-09
Updated: 2013-08-09
Packaged: 2017-12-22 21:31:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/918241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carrow/pseuds/carrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The thing about knowing someone for the biggest part of your life is that at some point you don’t even remember how life was before them. <br/>Scott doesn’t remember his life before Stiles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Better Than I Know Myself

**Author's Note:**

> Just a few things before you read: It's my first fanfic in english and in this fandom. I changed ages and some facts that can be considered canon (like Stiles' age when his mother died). It's Scott's POV.

The thing about knowing someone for the biggest part of your life is that at some point you don’t even remember how life was before them. Scott doesn’t remember his life before Stiles. He’s not sure when exactly they met. If they were five or six years old. And he doesn’t care, to be honest. 

What he does remember is that growing up so close to someone ends up turning his experiences, his first times, in theirs. It doesn’t matter that they don’t live in the same house, or that he only has his mother when Stiles has both his parents. Because, really, Mr. and Mrs. Stilinski are like Scott’s parents too. Just as Scott’s mom is a second mom to Stiles. Everything they do, they do it together.

Like that one time Melissa wants to spend a week of her vacation in her aunt’s home and Stiles tags along. Or that one time the Stilinski family rents a house on the coast and Scott spends the whole summer with them. And there’s also that one time when both of them get bikes as Christmas gifts. Eventually, they start to grow out of it, but not completely. They don’t get the same presents for Christmas, but they still sleep at each other’s houses on weekends, and go camping together.

And suddenly Mrs. Stilinski gets sick. It’s subtle at first. Some visits to the hospital, some medicines. Until one day it isn’t. One day they take Stiles’ mother to the hospital and they don’t see her for a long time. Stiles spends a lot more time at the McCall’s than he are used to, and that says a lot. They keep asking Melissa about Mrs. Stilinski but she just kisses their heads and tells them she’s going to get better.

They may be nine years old, but both of them are clever enough to know when people are lying, so they keep asking, hoping someone will tell them the truth. But nobody tells them anything, no matter how much they ask. At some point, they start visiting her at the hospital. She’s pale, skinnier and visibly sick, but the warm smile is there. Every time she greets them with the usual “My boys” in her happy tone, but it’s visibly getting weaker.

After the first visit they go home and pretend there’s nothing wrong. They play video games until Melissa has to drag them to Scott’s room and put them both in bed. Scott wakes up in the middle of the night to Stiles crying next to him. He doesn’t need to think before he pushes himself closer so he can hug Stiles the tighter he ever hugged someone before.

In the next months everything becomes a blur of hospital hallways – Scott still remembers thinking that even if his mother’s a nurse, he never spent so much time in the hospital –, tears and that feeling of uselessness that comes from seeing someone die a little everyday. When the realization that it’s actually happening, they’re losing her, losing Stiles’ mother and the woman he sees as a second mother, Scott stops hugging Stiles just to comfort his best friend but also to comfort himself.

He still remembers the day Ms. Jones drops them from school in the hospital and as always they run to her room, in the rush to spend just a little more time with her, and find the room empty. He remembers the shock, and the anger, and how much it hurt, and how they clung to each other and cried for almost an hour before Melissa found them.   
Everything else is a blur. He thinks that maybe some part of his brain decided to make him forget that. What he can’t forget though, are Stiles’ screams in the first night. No matter how much Scott hugged him and comforted him the best he could for a nine years old.

For some time after Mrs. Stilinski’s death, Scott thought that maybe he had lost not just her, but Stiles too. He goes almost a month without talking to Stiles, even at school, because somehow, Stiles hid at every moment they weren’t in class. But Scott is damned if he leaves his best friend, his brother, alone when all he needs is a distraction.  
So Scott pesters his mother until she gives in and talks to the Sheriff, so the next day instead of going home after school, he goes with the Stilinskis; and even if Stiles doesn’t say a word, Scott is okay in waiting for him to talk, even if everything screams “wrong” when the restless kid is quiet for the entire time.

It takes Scott a few days to make Stiles talk to him, and even then, in his childish innocence, he knows his best friend will never be the same kid he was before losing his mother. Scott doesn’t blame him, he would never be the same if his mother was taken from him as well.  
They talk in whispers the first few times, about missing her and how Stiles is afraid of losing his father too. Scott doesn’t know about lost, the only one he lost was his father, and he was too young to remember, so he pushes himself closer to Stiles and does what Mrs. Stilinski used to do to comfort the Sheriff when something bad happened.

He presses his lips to Stiles’. They stay there for a moment too long, eyes open and weirdly calm. Stiles pulls away enough to rest his head on Scott’s shoulder and they fall asleep not long after. Scott tries and tries to make things better for Stiles, but there’s only much a ten years old can do.   
He doesn’t care, as long as Stiles keeps opening up and getting better, even if it’s slow and Stiles will never heal completely. But Scott tries, because that is what his mother taught him, to keep trying. They watch movies, play video games and at some point it starts to feel right again, even if the cookies, the smell of pies and the warm smiles are never there. 

They are both twelve when Lydia Martin happens. Stiles can’t, for all that is holy and sacred, shut up about her hair and how smart she is and it kind of annoys Scott, but at the same time it makes him feel lighter because finally, finally, Stiles seems okay.  
Then, Lydia turns out to be the biggest bitch – and God forbid his mother to ever discover he thought something like this – Scott ever saw. She keeps ignoring Stiles and turning him down.

For some time Scott is afraid it will make Stiles go back to his silent days and all he wants is grab Lydia by the shoulders, shake her and tell her she’ll regret every little thing one day because Stiles is the best guy ever.

Somehow, in his too-fast-for-anyone-to-keep-up brain, Stiles decides he needs to know things só Lydia will like him better. To say Scott is afraid of what exactly “things” means is an understatement.

As most weekends, they’re at the Stilinskis, sprawled in the living room floor, playing Mario Kart   
because it’s the only thing they both agreed, when Stiles brings it up. Scott pretends he’s too focused in his game to hear, but there’s only long enough you can ignore Stiles.

When the “Scott, come on!” turns to “Scott! Scott! Scott! Seriously. I won’t stop until you talk to me. Scott! Scott! Scott!” He sighs like it’s the hardest thing he will ever do in life and turns to look at Stiles. The smile in his best friend’s face tells Scott he’ll never get out of this. Whatever this is.

“So…Lydia.” And there it is, the smile that freaks him out. Scott sighs again, just for dramatics.

“Yeah, Lydia. What about her?” He regrets the question as soon as he asks it.

“She’s like this… goddess, you know?” Scott makes some sort of noise, to indicate he’s listening, while looking around the room, more interested in anything that isn’t Lydia Martin. “And I bet she knows a lot of things and… Maybe she would like me if I knew things.”

“What kind of things?” Scott may not like it, but he’s thirteen and yeah, girls are kind of interesting. Well, girls that aren’t ginger devils.

“You know…” Stiles is blushing. Blushing. What the hell would make Stiles blush? And he looks too embarrassed to go on, but hey, he’s the one who started the conversation, Scott isn’t saying anything. “Kisses, Scott, and…”

“I don’t see why you feel like I would know anything about that.” He says before Stiles can go on, because, honestly, if there’s someone who doesn’t know anything about girls and kisses, it’s Scott.

“That’s the point!” Stiles almost shouts. “I don’t either, so I thought…” The way Stiles eyebrows move are enough to Scott get what he’s saying.

“WHAT? I thought this was about Lydia!” And if Scott is blushing, well, Stiles can’t say anything, anyway.

“It is! But I can’t make her fall in love with me if I don’t even know how to kiss someone.” No, no, no. Scott is not giving in to the way Stiles is looking helpless and at the same time as all the hope in the world is in Scott’s hands. Except maybe he is. What doesn’t mean he won’t try to get away.

“But… I already kissed you, once.” And he doesn’t want to remember it. Not because kissing Stiles is gross, because really, he’s not that grossed out, but because of what it meant.

“It doesn’t count! That wasn’t even a proper kiss.” The way Stiles is waving his hands and looking like a puppy makes Scott want to punch him, but he just sighs and nods.

“Okay, okay. But you owe me forever, dude.” Stiles’ smile is almost enough to pay the “debt”. Scott really, really, should stop giving in to everything Stiles asks, it’s going to get them in deep trouble one day, but right now, his best friend is happier than he was in the last three years.

“So, uhm…” Stiles is sitting on his knees, his body turned to Scott and looking nervous. Scott mimics his position and takes a deep breath. Stiles moves forward and something in the back of Scott’s mind tells him this should feel gross and weird, but it doesn’t.

They just stay there for a minute, eyes open and lips touching, like the first time, and then Stiles is opening his lips and Scott don’t really know what to do, but Stiles seems to know, because his tongue is in Scott’s mouth and he just lets it go.

It’s an awkward sensation, someone else’s tongue in his mouth, but then there’s Stiles hand in the back of his head and all Scott can think is that it doesn’t matters if Lydia Martin will stop being a bitch and finally look at Stiles the way he deserves, because Scott is the first person to ever kiss him.

**Author's Note:**

> If you read until here, thank you very very very much. And just to leave this here; I may turn this into a series so, comments are welcome! 
> 
> And thanks to Macka for being my beta.
> 
> (I'm dearbadwolf in tumblr)


End file.
